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Some Bad Karma; Assault by Streaker

Take a look at some of the more compelling police reports from around Patchlandia.

 

Putting the Kar in Karma

One man’s alleged decision to drive under the influence came back to haunt him pretty quickly this week. According to reports, a Portsmouth man decided to stop to “take a pee” after a night of drinking in Newport. He forgot one little thing – to put the car in park. The car rolled backwards and, after the man attempted to jump into the car to hit the brake, pinned him between the car door and a tree.  Officers found the man nearly three hours later in “good spirits,” despite the fact that his leg was numb. The man’s blood alcohol level allegedly measured at .113 and .119 at 4:20 a.m., four hours after he was initially pinned.

Machete Owner Gets Third DWI

Maybe the third time’s a charm for this repeat offender. South Kingstown officers arrested a  When police awakened Bood, he reportedly refused to answer basic questions and instead said, “Do YOU have a license, what’s YOUR name?” Police also noted that, when the shirtless man got out of the car, his pants fell down because they were unbuttoned and his belt was undone. The man also allegedly resisted arrested and allegedly spat on officers. After searching his car, officers allegedly found eight marijuana joints, a pair of handcuffs and a machete. According to online records, this is not the man’s first run-in with the law: he’s been arrested on charges of disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, carrying a pistol while under the influence (a felony charge), two other DUI charges, among others.

Streakers Strike Athletics Director With Car

Things went from bad to worse for two North Kingstown teenage streakers during the school’s homecoming game last week. After the duo . When the man reportedly tried to stop the pair from leaving in their car by standing in front of it, the 17-year-old driver allegedly hit the man with his car and took off – only to be pulled over by police just down the road. When officers apprehended the two, they noticed the driver was still without pants. The 17-year-old driver was charged with with duty to stop in an accident (resulting in a personal injury), disturbance of public assemblies, reckless driving and duty to render aid/report an accident to police while his accomplice was charged with disturbance of public assemblies.

It’s All in the Details

One good Samaritan returned a stolen wallet he found at Burger King to the Woonsocket Police Department. Unfortunately for the man, police were aware of one small, yet important, detail: the man didn’t find the wallet – he allegedly stole it. The manager at said Burger King told police that he recognized the man as a regular and provided police with his identity. The manager and the wallet’s owner both told police that the man then quickly left the restaurant after snatching the wallet off the counter as the man paid for his food.

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