I have been so filled with shock and emotion for days now following the tragedy in Newtown, CT, I’m still at a loss for words. So many innocent lives lost, I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t stop thinking about the little children, the teachers and their families. The grief these families are experiencing is inexplicable. I’ve been hugging my children and appreciating every little thing every day.
How has news of the horrific tragedy affected your home?
I know so many parents who can’t stop thinking about it or talking about it. Just when I start to think I’ve reached a new “normal,” I hear something new about the massacre and start crying again. My daughter kissed me goodbye when I dropped her off at school recently, and I noticed a Barrington police patrol car in front of the school, and I lost it again.
As a parent, it hits me to the core. This national tragedy has hit so close to home for so many parents, despite the ongoing investigation, we will be wondering “Why?” for years to come. December 14 will be a date this nation will never forget.
After a local mom asked me how I was going to handle sharing news of the tragedy with my two children, it got me thinking. “Do I even want to tell them?” “Will it scare them even more?” “If I don’t, will we regret it later if it gets brought up at school?”
I believe it’s a personal decision. A decision that families have to make on their own.
After the initial news broke on Friday, we told my 11-year-old son. We told him that something terrible had happened at a school in Connecticut. We told him that many lives were lost, that we love him and that we will always strive to keep him safe. We were very “broad strokes” with our delivery, but we decided he was at an appropriate age. We did not tell my daughter, who is eight, until Sunday. We were even more “broad” with our delivery. But we wanted them to understand that they may hear about it, and if they have any questions, they can always ask us. And that we love them more than life itself.
Like so many Americans, I have read, seen and heard dozens upon dozens of news stories about the tragedy on the Internet, the radio and on television. Everywhere you look, there is news of the tragedy, the shooter, the victims, the survivors and the families.
But there is one thing that we do at our house that has actually helped ensure that our children are not terrified even more. Although we watch TV, we don’t keep 24-news stations on 24-hours a day. And we don’t watch local news with our kids. We only watch news at night, after our children are asleep. A few moms I know said that since Friday, they have made a “No TV without permission rule” in their home. For example, The Food Network is OK, but they should not be channel surfing without permission. By no means is the rule applicable in every home, but it has worked for us. Again, it's up to you as a parent.
My son watched as 26 flares were released into the sky at Gillette Stadium before the Patriots game on Sunday night, in honor of the 26 lives lost at Sandy Hook Elementary School. I was in tears and could tell my son was sad too. And I could tell he understood why many in the crowd had tears in their eyes. I want him to know about the tragedy, but as a parent, there is a part of me that doesn’t want him to know more than he should at such a young age.
How you can help the families of Newton, CT:
So many people want to know how they can help the Newtown community, from Teddy Bears to monetary donations via the United Way and The Red Cross. This URL provides more information. http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/relief-agencies-assistance-newtown-families-005147080.html
I wish there was a way to bring a moment of silence over the Internet in honor of these families. May your family find peace this holiday season.
Heather M
5:14 pm on Wednesday, December 19, 2012
My girls, at 3 & 10 months, are too young to talk about what happened. We also skip the news until after they are in bed, they don't need to know everything that is going on in the world...good or bad. I know the time will come when they can know more or will want to know more...I will use "broad" terms to explain things to them & make it as easy as I can. I want to put them both in a bubble, just keep them safe & healthy!!
melissa g.
7:38 pm on Wednesday, December 19, 2012
It is so hard. B is of course so young at only 2 (on Saturday!), but by including him in small things like coloring pictures or donating teddy bears, I hope that in some way he is learning that good can help sadness heal. It is so hard as a parent to know the right way to deal with these things. :(
Michele C.
9:31 pm on Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Mine are too little to discuss it yet (4 and 2), but I know they could sense we were sad all weekend. We keep the TV off of news stations here too, so it limits exposure to the violence and negativity that they will learn all too much about as they grow older.
Joanna
11:16 pm on Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Mine are too little also, but I don't know what I would say. I'm so sad by what has happened and I hurt for those families...
Jackie Hennessey
9:44 am on Thursday, December 20, 2012
I appreciate your feedback so much and agree that when children are so young, there is no need to share news of this unbelievable tragedy. As parents, we will never forget this event. I want to remember the beautiful children as they were before this nightmare. I'm also limiting my own exposure to all the press coverage. Enough is enough. These families deserve privacy in their grieving. I wish you all a wonderful holiday with your families.
Courtney Buteau
2:15 pm on Thursday, December 20, 2012
I just wanted to say I like that you broke the news to your son on Friday. While it's a horrible topic to try to explain to a child, it's better your son heard it from you than from friends over the weekend or classmates. In this case, I'm glad my daughter is only 2, but I know for a fact I will tell her about this someday, it's just a matter of when. It will be a day that none of us will ever forget.
Jackie Hennessey
4:35 pm on Thursday, December 20, 2012
Thanks so much, Courtney.
Kristin Wheeler
12:06 am on Friday, December 21, 2012
My kids don't know yet.
Jackie Hennessey
11:06 am on Friday, December 21, 2012
Kristin, it's such a personal decision. Your decision is the right one for you, your family and your kids. If they ask about it when they get a little older, you'll know what to say.