Discovering A Soundtrack To Early Fatherhood
Mrs. Chase was hard of hearing and that was a good thing. Because when I dropped the needle on "London Calling," to paraphrase Nigel Tufnel in This Is Spinal Tap, the party went to eleven. It was our annual Christmas tree decorating bash – 20-plus people crammed into a tiny third-floor apartment on Canton Street in the Mount Pleasant section of Providence. Mrs. Chase lived below us on the second floor. Her only comment the next day? "The hi-fi was a little loud." God bless Mrs. Chase.
This was in The Days Before Children, back when you couldn't play the Clash or Talking Heads or Elvis Costello loud enough. Back when people still bought speakers the size of small refrigerators.
And then Peter was born. My brother-in-law Steve warned against lowering the volume. "Never turn it down and you'll never have to," he advised. "Your kids will grow up thinking all that noise is normal."
Steve was right. While we did dial the volume knobs back a tad during nap times, our kids grew up with loud music playing in the house and on the road and all the time. Noise was not an impediment to sleep. When my daughter Juliana was an infant and our house was in a constant construction uproar, no amount of sledgehammering could penetrate her dreams.
Still, with the arrival of children, I modified my playlist – less head-banging stuff, more acoustic guitar. Amidst all the feedings and diaper changes and walks down Modena Avenue came the discovery of songs about early fatherhood that were striking in their simplicity and gentleness:
"Beautiful Boy" by John Lennon – "The monster's gone, he's on the run, and your daddy's here…"
"Daddy's Baby" by James Taylor – "Is there something I should know, something new to you?"
"Pony Boy" by Bruce Springsteen – "O'er the hills and through the trees, we'll go ridin', you and me…"
"St. Judy's Comet" by Paul Simon – "I long to see St. Judy's Comet sparkle in your eyes when you awake…"
These songs played as I shared Cheerios, one by one, with baby Pete at six in the morning. Through the alchemy of a three-minute pop tune, I connected to wisdom of the ages: being a young dad is wondrous and tiring and humbling and transformative.
That came through, loud and clear, at any volume.
Carolyn Cure
9:31 pm on Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Great advice! Can I suggest Put it There by Paul McCartney? I rediscovered it when our son was born. We enjoy your columns er....blogs.
John Walsh
8:30 am on Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Thanks for reading, Carolyn, and for adding the McCartney tune. I'm a big Beatles/Sir Paul fan, but "Put It There" was not on my radar. Great to come back to songs and hear them with new ears.
Emcee of Seekonk
7:14 am on Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Sweet.
Total freedom is totally gone with the birth of the first child. A seven-pound sidekick wriggles into first place. And who would want it any other way.
John Walsh
8:35 am on Wednesday, July 25, 2012
When our third child was born, we said we had to switch from man-to-man to zone. Crazy, amazing days! Thanks for reading, Emcee.
Eileen Famiglietti
9:50 am on Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Excellent blog! There should be more like this one. My oldest loves the song "cats in the cradle", it's one of the few 'older' songs he will listen to all the way through. loud music is only played when i am the only one in the car... it's part of my mommy's time out experience...
John Walsh
10:00 am on Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Thank you, Eileen. My dad was a big Harry Chapin fan so I grew up hearing "Cat's In The Cradle" and many other tunes by him. We caught him at the Warwick Tent in the mid-70s.
Gina
11:14 am on Wednesday, July 25, 2012
I must have had the Loggins & Messina CD playing often when I had my son 15 years ago. Whenever he hears it I hear him humming the tune...House on Pooh Corner...
"It's hard to explain how a few precious things
Seem to follow throughout all our lives
After all's said and done I was watching my son
Sleeping there with my bear by his side
So I tucked him in, I kissed him and as I was going
I swear that the old bear whispered "Boy welcome home" . "
( and Eileen, "Cat's in the Cradle" is another "older" song my son knows the word to as well )...
I'm always amazed at the ones they start humming to in the car that may come on one of the "oldie" stations...haha
John Walsh
2:07 pm on Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Thanks for reading and joining in, Gina.
Joe Richer
1:28 pm on Thursday, July 26, 2012
Forever Young - Rod Stewart
I keep coming back to it. My oldest is 17 now and it's more meaningful than ever.
John Walsh
2:57 pm on Thursday, July 26, 2012
I always think of "Maggie May" and "Tonight's The Night" with Rod. Thanks for pointing this one out – interesting ties back to Dylan's tune of the same name: http://bit.ly/OpVa7P. Thanks for reading, Joe.
Small Change
11:20 pm on Thursday, July 26, 2012
Maggie May?? I think you are 'losing the thread' (npi ) here. &)
Creed's With Arms Wide Open is the perfect new father song.
There is a sort of Christmas song, Joseph's Song, whose depiction of fatherhood
makes even this crusty old curmudgeon well up. -
He looks so small, His face and hands so fair
And when He cries the sun just seems to disappear
But when He laughs it shines again
How could it be...
Finally, speaking of Harry Chapin, i find 'There Only Was One Choice' far more eloquent than the somewhat forced and sophomoric (opinion, folks, opinion) Cat's in the Cradle.
John Walsh
7:16 am on Friday, July 27, 2012
Hah! Thanks for the Maggie May thread point -- so right and very funny. Didn't mean it as a young dad tune, just a song I go to when I think of Rod Stewart. Thanks for joining in – will check out the tunes you mentioned.
John Garagliano
8:44 am on Friday, July 27, 2012
Can I add my 2 cents?
"Father & Daughter" by Paul Simon.
"I believe the light that shines on you will shine forever."
"I'm gonna watch you shine, gonna watch you grow"
"As long as 1 and 1 is 2, there can never be a father that loves their daughter as much as I love you."
John Walsh
8:48 am on Friday, July 27, 2012
Thanks, John – love that tune!
Joseph Hutnak
9:09 am on Friday, July 27, 2012
John:
There's a series called "Rockabye Baby," lullaby versions of rock bands like the Stones, Pink Floyd — even Metallica. Nothing like hearing "Enter Sandman" performed on glockenspiel.
Some day, I expect my daughter will hear the real version of "Wild Horses" and say "Hey, I know that song!"
John Walsh
9:23 am on Friday, July 27, 2012
Metallica for infants – gotta love it! Thanks for the heads up, Joseph.
Lauren Taylor
10:28 am on Friday, July 27, 2012
I have bought a lot of those Rockabye Baby CDs at What's Kickin' (3D4D Ultrasound)in North Kingstown. They have all kinds of music from Kanye West to Beatles and Madonna. Now that my children are a little bit older I listen to them when I just need some background music.
Running While Mommy
10:47 am on Friday, July 27, 2012
Oh, Metallica for babies! Why didn't I know about that CD? My kids are 6 and 4 but i am going to check it out.
Joseph Hutnak
11:17 am on Friday, July 27, 2012
RWM:
Here's "Enter Sandman" — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nV16UCnoMT8
And here's my personal fave, "Fade to Black" — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PwC_zhpDK0&feature=related
Running While Mommy
1:17 pm on Friday, July 27, 2012
Ok, that is awesome! Thanks for sharing. Enter Sandman is one of my go to songs when I am running and Fade to Black was one of my favs in High School. Actually that was my first Metallica album. Just played a couple for the kids and they like it.
Mike Bottaro
12:38 pm on Saturday, July 28, 2012
I'm adding these to my playlist... this spring I was listening to Trace Adkins "Just fishin'" in the truck with my 4 yr old on the way to... fish.... She also likes (of course) Taylor Swift "Never grow up."
John Walsh
10:25 am on Monday, July 30, 2012
Thanks for the heads up on the Trace Adkins tune, Mike.
PM JONES
11:21 am on Wednesday, August 8, 2012
This thread *must* include a hidden gem from Mark Cohn, of "Walkin' in Memphis" & "Silver Thunderbird" fame: The Things We've Handed Down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmAMzZAfWvc&feature=fvsr
It was an amazing discovery & became the soundtrack of my pregnancy 17 years ago. Enjoy!
John Walsh
11:38 am on Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Listening now – great tune. Thanks for adding it to the list!